Now before you start calling me a crackpot, hear me out.

 

Kerbs are the biggest evil this world has to fear.

 

When I was a kid I remember the council decided to tarmac  all of the back lanes in the area I live....you tend to notice things like that when you're a kid. Well, because of this eventfilled week of civil engineering festivities I also began to notice that other areas of the town where getting the same kind of treatment.....muddy lanes were becoming freshly tarmaced plazas, derelict land were getting cleaned up, landscaped and pathed, roads in the sleepy villages around the town where getting kerbs in abundance....mmm, lovely I thought to myself and it did indeed look very nice....in the case of the back lanes they were now perfect for skateboarding ....which is another thing you notice when you're a kid.

 

Over the years tho I have realised the evil that it is hidden beneath these innocent looking facades.

 

For starters, those nice new plazas soon became choked with dogshit ....in those days, dogs still roamed the streets in packs. Not wild dogs of course....these were rebel dogs, lol. License evading dogs....anyway the lanes ended up full of crap and smelled like.....well......shit.

 

It's now about 30 years later....and all of those lanes are laced with potholes....dogs no longer roam in packs....now, because of the invention of the lead or leash as they say in the colonies, dogs are civilised and drag along reluctant pet humans behind them who they have specially trained to "scoop the poop".....Not even the apes forced us that low.

 

And the kerbs! I almost forgot about the "kerbs".....see, this is what they do, they make you forget about them.....pure evil.

 

How many countless broken bones have occurred because of "kerbs"? I know of many a broken arm or collar bone that has fractured as a result of a kerb related injury. Why? Because the unfortunate victim forgot it was there.....missed it (they can move) ....or didn't see it (invisibility).

 

All of those nicely kerbed country villages have grown as a result of said kerbs....because a kerb demands a lampost....then a wall.....then a house.....then a factory, speed limits....DOUBLE YELLOW LINES!!.....the list just goes on and on. Urban encroachment....the slow and merciless creep of the sprawl that kerbs grow up to become.

 

Don't believe me? Check out Mt. Fiji on google earth.....at it's base is the borg cube that modern Japan has become as a result of kerbing.

 

Kerbs are pure evil and the root of all the worlds ills......are dogs involved in this invasion? Mm, the bring victims to the kerbs....I'm not exactly up on the stats for dogwalking injuries but I'm guessing that kerbs feature quite high......and potholes no doubt.

 

 

Tear up the kerbs and be free! .....do it! ....do it now!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

go on.....you know you want to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

no?